BAD BOSS ACTIONS TO TAKE THAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS PAGE:
- Write a Letter of Complaint ABOUT Your Boss?
- How to Write a Letter of Complaint TO Your boss
- Choose Your Fight-Back Strategy Based on Patterns of Behavior, Not Incidents
- Get It in Writing
- Build a Counter-Case
- Do Not Sign!
- Bosses Disagree? Not Your Problem!
- Five Ways to Get Even with a Bad boss
- Get Even by Doing Your Job
- Don't Get Sidetracked
- When Your Boss Steals Your Work
- Do Not Record Your Boss's Conversations
Action #1: Write a Letter of Complaint About Your Boss?
Don’t even think about it! Organizations will almost always support the higher level employee to avoid legal liability. If they agree or side with you, they admit their guilt in not managing your boss—and that ain’t gonna happen.
Instead, write your complaint memo to your boss. Include description of incidents (what actually occurred), dates, times, actual quotes of things that were said, and the impact your boss’s behavior has on business results. This last point is the most important. Don’t make it about you—discuss the issue in terms of how it hurts the company.
If your boss continues to be a problem, write a second memo. If you must write a third memo, include a note on the memo that a copy has been sent to a Human Resources Manager (name the manager)—and send that manager a copy of the letter. Make sure it says “this is my third request of you to address this issue” or words to that effect. Always demonstrate that you are trying to work with your boss to resolve issues, not against your boss.
For an example of this kind of memo, see the next action, "How to Write a Letter of Complain TO Your Boss."
Instead, write your complaint memo to your boss. Include description of incidents (what actually occurred), dates, times, actual quotes of things that were said, and the impact your boss’s behavior has on business results. This last point is the most important. Don’t make it about you—discuss the issue in terms of how it hurts the company.
If your boss continues to be a problem, write a second memo. If you must write a third memo, include a note on the memo that a copy has been sent to a Human Resources Manager (name the manager)—and send that manager a copy of the letter. Make sure it says “this is my third request of you to address this issue” or words to that effect. Always demonstrate that you are trying to work with your boss to resolve issues, not against your boss.
For an example of this kind of memo, see the next action, "How to Write a Letter of Complain TO Your Boss."
Action #2: How to Write a Letter of Complaint To Your Boss
Written charges are powerful and they are a useful tool for non-aggressive people to use. Writing gives you a chance to calm down after an offensive incident and state your concerns clearly and rationally. Following is an example:
Memo
Date: January 12, 2005
From: Good Employee (Your name)
To: Bad Boss (Your boss's name)
Subject: Unacceptable Behavior
This memo is to inform you of the effect you had on me yesterday and to begin a dialogue to establish guidelines for future interactions between us.
When we talked in your office at 3:10 PM on Wednesday, January 14, I was shocked and disappointed when you shouted, "What kind of an idiot are you?!" Your outburst was not only undeserved, but it was unacceptable to me and unprofessional of you. It distracted me from my job. I would like for you to understand my concern, and I am requesting that our future interactions be strictly professional.
If it happens again, write another memo in this same way, adding that this is the second time (or third, or however many) you have done this. Also add that since your first memo was disregarded, you are now providing a copy to your boss's boss and to a Human Resources Manager asking them to intervene and stop your boss's unprofessional behavior toward you—which works against achieving your organization's objectives.
Keep hard copies of your memos in a safe location away from your workplace. If any action is taken against you for reporting your boss's inappropriate behavior, your memos will serve as documentation to defend yourself in that they indicate that you have asked your employer for assistance and your request was ignored.
For additional information about writing memos to stop a bad boss from abusing you, read Chapter 8, The Bully Boss in the book, "Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Boss? How to Survive 13 Types."
Memo
Date: January 12, 2005
From: Good Employee (Your name)
To: Bad Boss (Your boss's name)
Subject: Unacceptable Behavior
This memo is to inform you of the effect you had on me yesterday and to begin a dialogue to establish guidelines for future interactions between us.
When we talked in your office at 3:10 PM on Wednesday, January 14, I was shocked and disappointed when you shouted, "What kind of an idiot are you?!" Your outburst was not only undeserved, but it was unacceptable to me and unprofessional of you. It distracted me from my job. I would like for you to understand my concern, and I am requesting that our future interactions be strictly professional.
If it happens again, write another memo in this same way, adding that this is the second time (or third, or however many) you have done this. Also add that since your first memo was disregarded, you are now providing a copy to your boss's boss and to a Human Resources Manager asking them to intervene and stop your boss's unprofessional behavior toward you—which works against achieving your organization's objectives.
Keep hard copies of your memos in a safe location away from your workplace. If any action is taken against you for reporting your boss's inappropriate behavior, your memos will serve as documentation to defend yourself in that they indicate that you have asked your employer for assistance and your request was ignored.
For additional information about writing memos to stop a bad boss from abusing you, read Chapter 8, The Bully Boss in the book, "Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Boss? How to Survive 13 Types."
Action #3: Choose Your Fight-Back Strategy Based on Patterns of Behavior, Not Incidents
The best way to deal with a bad boss is to get inside that boss's head and figure out what he or she is gaining from misconduct and inappropriate behavior. For example, one of the most commonly observed bad boss types is the Bully. The Bully gains the delusion of power, control and subservience from acting out. But the Bully is among the easiest of bad-boss types to deal with because her or his behavior is exposed—on the surface for you to see—you need only to counter the Bully's behavior.
The most difficult types to deal with are those whose misconduct is hidden from most or everyone except you—these types are the ones who will inflict more harm on you than cursing and calling you names will ever do. They will secretly damage your reputation & esteem, and build a false-but-believable case to blame you for their misconduct.
Evidence suggests that there are more of these hidden bad-boss types than there are Bully Bosses. They remain hidden because their despicable tactics are hard for anyone to believe who hasn’t experienced them first hand. If you try to deal with only a single, inappropriate action, you are likely to choose a strategy that will backfire on you with these types. To be effective at surviving one of these bad bosses, you must know what the boss gets from her or his overall misconduct—you must address the pattern of behavior, not just a single incident.
Tips on this Web site will help you in general. If you work with a bad-boss whose misconduct is not out in the open, you must develop a more comprehensive strategy to survive unharmed. Carefully study the E-Chapters page on this site to determine your boss's type and plan to win in the battle against evil in the workplace.
The most difficult types to deal with are those whose misconduct is hidden from most or everyone except you—these types are the ones who will inflict more harm on you than cursing and calling you names will ever do. They will secretly damage your reputation & esteem, and build a false-but-believable case to blame you for their misconduct.
Evidence suggests that there are more of these hidden bad-boss types than there are Bully Bosses. They remain hidden because their despicable tactics are hard for anyone to believe who hasn’t experienced them first hand. If you try to deal with only a single, inappropriate action, you are likely to choose a strategy that will backfire on you with these types. To be effective at surviving one of these bad bosses, you must know what the boss gets from her or his overall misconduct—you must address the pattern of behavior, not just a single incident.
Tips on this Web site will help you in general. If you work with a bad-boss whose misconduct is not out in the open, you must develop a more comprehensive strategy to survive unharmed. Carefully study the E-Chapters page on this site to determine your boss's type and plan to win in the battle against evil in the workplace.
Action #4: Get It in Writing
If your boss refuses to provide a documented authorization for anything he or she asks you to do, then you are not obligated to do it. You cannot be charged with not following orders if those orders are not written in your job description or in another formal document. If your boss tells you to do something that seems inappropriate, ask for that instruction in writing.
One reason bad bosses get away with inappropriate behavior is because there is no trail of evidence. The spoken word can always be denied, and if it comes down to your word against your bad boss's word, your bad boss wins. But if you have documentation that clearly indicates your boss's intention, then your boss is responsible and accountable for whatever he or she asked you to do. If your boss insists that you do something which seems inappropriate or unusually risky for you, but refuses to write those instructions, then you write a dated memo to your boss restating what he or she told you to do. For example:
December 20, 2005
Boss,
You have requested that I use my personal credit card to purchase gifts for our clients in the amount of approximately $3,000. You also instructed me to submit a voucher for reimbursement for this expense and you said you will approve it. I would like to be sure I understood you correctly before I proceed. Is this what you asked me to do? Please sign on the line below to indicate that I have understood you correctly.
Your Signature Here
_______________________________________________
Boss's Signature Goes Here
Ask your boss to sign your memo when he or she finally agrees that you have correctly understood the instructions. (This may take two or three attempts, or your boss may tell you to disregard the instruction.) Politely explain that this document will be your formal authorization just in case your boss is unavailable due to illness, accident, or any other reason, and someone else must approve your work. If your boss signs the memo, keep the original signed, paper copy in a safe place, away from your work location, to justify your actions if they are questioned later.
In the example above, it is inappropriate for you to be required to use your personal credit to fund your employer's business expenses. If this happens, ask for a company credit card or a purchase order number for the vendor.
If your boss asks you to do something that is ILLEGAL, you may be liable if you comply, so do not. It is unlikely that your boss will sign a document authorizing you to violate a law, so this strategy helps you get out of doing the deed. However, if you do get a signature, then tell your boss that you are going to have an attorney review the order to ensure that you will not be liable. Make an appointment with an attorney who represents your employer. Be sure there is written evidence of the order--do not work only with a conversation or oral instruction. Ask the attorney for written authorization if compliance is recommended. You are not likely to get this, so you will not have to follow this order. On the rare and strange chance that an attorney provides written authorization for you to violate a law, contact the regulatory agency that oversees your employer's industry. Do not go through Human Resources unless you are certain that they do not collude with management in conducting illegal activities.
Remember: If it isn't in writing, it doesn't exist.
One reason bad bosses get away with inappropriate behavior is because there is no trail of evidence. The spoken word can always be denied, and if it comes down to your word against your bad boss's word, your bad boss wins. But if you have documentation that clearly indicates your boss's intention, then your boss is responsible and accountable for whatever he or she asked you to do. If your boss insists that you do something which seems inappropriate or unusually risky for you, but refuses to write those instructions, then you write a dated memo to your boss restating what he or she told you to do. For example:
December 20, 2005
Boss,
You have requested that I use my personal credit card to purchase gifts for our clients in the amount of approximately $3,000. You also instructed me to submit a voucher for reimbursement for this expense and you said you will approve it. I would like to be sure I understood you correctly before I proceed. Is this what you asked me to do? Please sign on the line below to indicate that I have understood you correctly.
Your Signature Here
_______________________________________________
Boss's Signature Goes Here
Ask your boss to sign your memo when he or she finally agrees that you have correctly understood the instructions. (This may take two or three attempts, or your boss may tell you to disregard the instruction.) Politely explain that this document will be your formal authorization just in case your boss is unavailable due to illness, accident, or any other reason, and someone else must approve your work. If your boss signs the memo, keep the original signed, paper copy in a safe place, away from your work location, to justify your actions if they are questioned later.
In the example above, it is inappropriate for you to be required to use your personal credit to fund your employer's business expenses. If this happens, ask for a company credit card or a purchase order number for the vendor.
If your boss asks you to do something that is ILLEGAL, you may be liable if you comply, so do not. It is unlikely that your boss will sign a document authorizing you to violate a law, so this strategy helps you get out of doing the deed. However, if you do get a signature, then tell your boss that you are going to have an attorney review the order to ensure that you will not be liable. Make an appointment with an attorney who represents your employer. Be sure there is written evidence of the order--do not work only with a conversation or oral instruction. Ask the attorney for written authorization if compliance is recommended. You are not likely to get this, so you will not have to follow this order. On the rare and strange chance that an attorney provides written authorization for you to violate a law, contact the regulatory agency that oversees your employer's industry. Do not go through Human Resources unless you are certain that they do not collude with management in conducting illegal activities.
Remember: If it isn't in writing, it doesn't exist.
Action #5: Build a Counter-Case
Your boss starts having frequent talks with you about your performance. He thinks it's lacking. He scrutinizes all your work, looking for the slightest thing to criticize. He keeps telling you that you've got to do better while ignoring your requests for the resources you need to do the job the way it's supposed to be done. He starts keeping a written record of all his discussions with you. At each of these meetings, he refers back to the notes he wrote the last time he talked with you. Make no mistake about it; he's building a case to terminate your employment. What can you do?
First, update your resume and begin looking for another job immediately. It takes time to find a job, and you don't know how long you've got.
Next, begin to build a counter-case. If your boss's charges about your performance are bogus, communicate your concerns about your job in writing. Take the approach that you are trying to help solve a problem; be positive, as if you are trying to help your boss manage by pointing out issues that require his or her attention. State clearly what you need to do your job effectively and efficiently, and explain the reasons why. For example, you might say:
"Last year, you set a goal for me to handle four cases per hour, which I did and exceeded 25% of the time. There were four of us working on cases at that time. Now there are only three of us. When the fourth staff member left, you increased my goal to six cases per hour. That is not enough time to adequately serve our customers, as indicated by the increase in the number of call-backs we are receiving. We need to replace the missing staff member to meet our goals. Is there anything I can do to help you find candidates?"
Or,
"I understand that you want me to teach three lessons per week. If you want the students to actually learn these lessons and be able to pass the test, I will need smaller class sizes to give individual attention to those who are challenged to work at that pace. Research (quote a source here) indicates that this is possible with a class size no greater than 25, but my classes are almost twice that size, so some students will be left behind. Which goal would you like me to meet: to speed up the pace of the lessons or to help the students learn the content?"
Your written notices document your initiative in helping your employer solve problems by bringing them to the attention of the responsible person--your boss. Use this approach only if you are performing your job to the best of your ability and according to a standard that can be legitimately justified. In that case, it is your boss's responsibility to create the conditions necessary for you to be able to succeed at meeting your goals.
Your boss may tell you to stop writing; do not. This approach may slow your boss down and buy you some time to find another job, but it is still likely that you will be let go if your boss wants you gone. In that instance, your documentation will provide you with a case to pursue a financial settlement after you are terminated, so keep copies of your records in a safe place away from your work location. There are no guarantees you can win a settlement, but your former employer may offer you something to keep you quiet. Expect to be required to sign a document agreeing that you will not talk about your settlement as a condition of receiving this compensation. Your written notices document your initiative in helping your employer solve problems by bringing them to the attention of the responsible person--your boss. Use this approach only if you are performing your job to the best of your ability and according to a standard that can be legitimately justified. In that case, it is your boss's responsibility to create the conditions necessary for you to be able to succeed at meeting your goals. Your boss may tell you to stop writing; do not. This approach may slow your boss down and buy you some time to find another job, but it is still likely that you will be let go if your boss wants you gone. In that instance, your documentation will provide you with a case to pursue a financial settlement after you are terminated, so keep copies of your records in a safe place away from your work location. There are no guarantees you can win a settlement, but your former employer may offer you something to keep you quiet. Expect to be required to sign a document agreeing that you will not talk about your settlement as a condition of receiving this compensation.
First, update your resume and begin looking for another job immediately. It takes time to find a job, and you don't know how long you've got.
Next, begin to build a counter-case. If your boss's charges about your performance are bogus, communicate your concerns about your job in writing. Take the approach that you are trying to help solve a problem; be positive, as if you are trying to help your boss manage by pointing out issues that require his or her attention. State clearly what you need to do your job effectively and efficiently, and explain the reasons why. For example, you might say:
"Last year, you set a goal for me to handle four cases per hour, which I did and exceeded 25% of the time. There were four of us working on cases at that time. Now there are only three of us. When the fourth staff member left, you increased my goal to six cases per hour. That is not enough time to adequately serve our customers, as indicated by the increase in the number of call-backs we are receiving. We need to replace the missing staff member to meet our goals. Is there anything I can do to help you find candidates?"
Or,
"I understand that you want me to teach three lessons per week. If you want the students to actually learn these lessons and be able to pass the test, I will need smaller class sizes to give individual attention to those who are challenged to work at that pace. Research (quote a source here) indicates that this is possible with a class size no greater than 25, but my classes are almost twice that size, so some students will be left behind. Which goal would you like me to meet: to speed up the pace of the lessons or to help the students learn the content?"
Your written notices document your initiative in helping your employer solve problems by bringing them to the attention of the responsible person--your boss. Use this approach only if you are performing your job to the best of your ability and according to a standard that can be legitimately justified. In that case, it is your boss's responsibility to create the conditions necessary for you to be able to succeed at meeting your goals.
Your boss may tell you to stop writing; do not. This approach may slow your boss down and buy you some time to find another job, but it is still likely that you will be let go if your boss wants you gone. In that instance, your documentation will provide you with a case to pursue a financial settlement after you are terminated, so keep copies of your records in a safe place away from your work location. There are no guarantees you can win a settlement, but your former employer may offer you something to keep you quiet. Expect to be required to sign a document agreeing that you will not talk about your settlement as a condition of receiving this compensation. Your written notices document your initiative in helping your employer solve problems by bringing them to the attention of the responsible person--your boss. Use this approach only if you are performing your job to the best of your ability and according to a standard that can be legitimately justified. In that case, it is your boss's responsibility to create the conditions necessary for you to be able to succeed at meeting your goals. Your boss may tell you to stop writing; do not. This approach may slow your boss down and buy you some time to find another job, but it is still likely that you will be let go if your boss wants you gone. In that instance, your documentation will provide you with a case to pursue a financial settlement after you are terminated, so keep copies of your records in a safe place away from your work location. There are no guarantees you can win a settlement, but your former employer may offer you something to keep you quiet. Expect to be required to sign a document agreeing that you will not talk about your settlement as a condition of receiving this compensation.
Action #6: Do Not Sign!
If your boss or any representative of your employer ever asks you to sign a document that accuses you of having done something inappropriate, do not sign it. Your employer's representative may tell you that your signature on the document only indicates that he talked with you and it does not mean you agree with what it says. He may even point to a clause on the document that states something to this effect, "Your signature is an acknowledgement that you have received this document, not that you agree with it." Whether that statement is in fine print or bold print, do not sign. Instead, make a note on that document, in ink, worded like this:
"Read the employee's attached response to this accusation."
But do not sign, even after you write that note. Hand the letter back to your boss or your employer's representative and tell him that you will provide a letter for him to attach to this document. Your boss's letter will become part of your permanent employee file whether you sign it or not. Your boss will just write on it, "Employee refused to sign." If this happens, there will be no indication in your file that you challenged the accusation. Your note on that document will be the only indication that anyone investigating the situation must look for additional information.
After the meeting, write your own version of what happened, or, if nothing happened, write a letter that states you are being falsely accused. If there are witnesses, name them. Make sure you state in your letter that you want it to become part of your permanent employee file as an attachment to your boss's letter dated ___ (fill in the date). Also state that your boss's letter has been annotated with the statement: "Read the employee's attached response to this accusation," or whatever words you wrote, so that he cannot simply reproduce another copy without your note on it and substitute that copy in your file. Two weeks later, ask to see the records in your permanent file and verify that your note is on your boss's letter and that your letter is attached to it. If not, write a letter to your boss explaining what you found and ask for the records to be updated; copy your boss's boss and/or a human resources manager on this letter.
When you are asked to sign a document like this, you can be sure that your employer is building a case to terminate you. Update your resume and begin a job search.
"Read the employee's attached response to this accusation."
But do not sign, even after you write that note. Hand the letter back to your boss or your employer's representative and tell him that you will provide a letter for him to attach to this document. Your boss's letter will become part of your permanent employee file whether you sign it or not. Your boss will just write on it, "Employee refused to sign." If this happens, there will be no indication in your file that you challenged the accusation. Your note on that document will be the only indication that anyone investigating the situation must look for additional information.
After the meeting, write your own version of what happened, or, if nothing happened, write a letter that states you are being falsely accused. If there are witnesses, name them. Make sure you state in your letter that you want it to become part of your permanent employee file as an attachment to your boss's letter dated ___ (fill in the date). Also state that your boss's letter has been annotated with the statement: "Read the employee's attached response to this accusation," or whatever words you wrote, so that he cannot simply reproduce another copy without your note on it and substitute that copy in your file. Two weeks later, ask to see the records in your permanent file and verify that your note is on your boss's letter and that your letter is attached to it. If not, write a letter to your boss explaining what you found and ask for the records to be updated; copy your boss's boss and/or a human resources manager on this letter.
When you are asked to sign a document like this, you can be sure that your employer is building a case to terminate you. Update your resume and begin a job search.
Action #7: Bosses Disagree? Not Your Problem!
You might have a good boss who reports to a bad boss—it happens a lot in hierarchies. So what do you do if your boss's boss tries to give you orders that conflict with your direct boss's instructions?
Put it in writing! Write a memo addressed to both your boss and your boss's boss. Explain that, because you have been given conflicting instructions, you cannot proceed until they agree on what they want you to do. List the company goals you're working to accomplish and explain how this delay is working against those goals and hurting the organization.
But that may not be the end of it. Suppose your boss's boss then says to you, "I read your memo; I'm the senior manager so you must follow my instructions." It happens. So what do you do now? You write another memo addressed to both your boss and your boss's boss. Tell them that you asked for their agreement in your first message and you still haven't gotten it—you still have only one manager's instructions. End your memo by asking, "Would it be helpful if I escalated this issue to our executive for a decision?" They'll probably want to avoid that, so they just might work out their problems without forcing you to do it for them.
Continue to write everything that happens, including the final resolution. In your last memo about the incident, say something like,"I understand that you both agree you want me to _____ (fill in the blank with whatever it was), and I am proceeding with this understanding."Make sure all your memos are dated and keep a paper copy of them in a safe place, away from your work location.
The simple act of writing what you've been told to do can help you avoid negative stress. Don't be afraid to state facts in writing—facts are indisputable—but do not to offer an opinion.
Put it in writing! Write a memo addressed to both your boss and your boss's boss. Explain that, because you have been given conflicting instructions, you cannot proceed until they agree on what they want you to do. List the company goals you're working to accomplish and explain how this delay is working against those goals and hurting the organization.
But that may not be the end of it. Suppose your boss's boss then says to you, "I read your memo; I'm the senior manager so you must follow my instructions." It happens. So what do you do now? You write another memo addressed to both your boss and your boss's boss. Tell them that you asked for their agreement in your first message and you still haven't gotten it—you still have only one manager's instructions. End your memo by asking, "Would it be helpful if I escalated this issue to our executive for a decision?" They'll probably want to avoid that, so they just might work out their problems without forcing you to do it for them.
Continue to write everything that happens, including the final resolution. In your last memo about the incident, say something like,"I understand that you both agree you want me to _____ (fill in the blank with whatever it was), and I am proceeding with this understanding."Make sure all your memos are dated and keep a paper copy of them in a safe place, away from your work location.
The simple act of writing what you've been told to do can help you avoid negative stress. Don't be afraid to state facts in writing—facts are indisputable—but do not to offer an opinion.
Action #8: Five Ways to Get Even with a Bad Boss
It's tempting to think about creating as much pain and suffering for your bad boss as he or she creates for you. But here's something you need to know: bad bosses are already in pain and suffering—that's why they strike out. Their private world is a place of misery for them and their outward signs of power and strength are nothing more than a mask to disguise their reality. They're playing the revenge game—striking out at you in an attempt to get even with the world because you appear to have what they want—knowledge; ability; confidence; security and/or happiness. There is only one thing you can do make your bad boss feel worse: show your bad boss that he or she can't take away from you those qualities that make you the person they envy.
Here's a list of five things you can do that will get the job done:
1. Be Better
Be a better person than your boss in all ways. Continue to develop professional and effective interpersonal skills. Work toward advancing in your career and becoming a good boss—learning what not to do from your bad boss. Be a cooperative colleague and realize that internal competition only gives your competitor's an advantage.
2. Be Popular
Get to know other people in your organization. Make sure the people who receive your work know you and understand that you are willing to listen and act on their concerns. Join and contribute information to professional organizations or constructive online groups that address your line of work. Become well-known by name and respected as someone trustworthy.
3. Be Indifferent
Ignore your boss's snide remarks; realize that your boss is really talking about herself or himself and chuckle privately at her or his self-revelation. Do not respond unless you are asked a direct question. If the question is insulting, do not respond to it directly; but ask another question, such as "How will this discussion help us reach our business goals?" Stay focused on your common interest, which is doing your job well.
4. Be Backed-up
Document every inappropriate thing your boss says or does. He or she gets away with it because there is no record of this bad behavior. Send memos to your boss, including her or his direct quotes, and ask if you've understood correctly. If your boss continues to behave badly after the first two memos, start copying someone in the Human Resources Department on these memos. When your boss tells you to stop writing things down, explain that writing is the best way for you to be sure you have understood correctly, and you want to be sure you are doing the right thing. This is often enough to make a bad boss leave you alone and find another target.
5. Be Happy
Nothing irks a bad boss more than seeing other people be genuinely happy. Find good things to talk about and share them with your colleagues to help create a pleasant work atmosphere. Compliment your co-workers and other managers in your organization. Always be polite, courteous and cooperative. Smile a lot while you are working. The best revenge is seeing your boss become even more dissatisfied as you become happier.
Here's a list of five things you can do that will get the job done:
1. Be Better
Be a better person than your boss in all ways. Continue to develop professional and effective interpersonal skills. Work toward advancing in your career and becoming a good boss—learning what not to do from your bad boss. Be a cooperative colleague and realize that internal competition only gives your competitor's an advantage.
2. Be Popular
Get to know other people in your organization. Make sure the people who receive your work know you and understand that you are willing to listen and act on their concerns. Join and contribute information to professional organizations or constructive online groups that address your line of work. Become well-known by name and respected as someone trustworthy.
3. Be Indifferent
Ignore your boss's snide remarks; realize that your boss is really talking about herself or himself and chuckle privately at her or his self-revelation. Do not respond unless you are asked a direct question. If the question is insulting, do not respond to it directly; but ask another question, such as "How will this discussion help us reach our business goals?" Stay focused on your common interest, which is doing your job well.
4. Be Backed-up
Document every inappropriate thing your boss says or does. He or she gets away with it because there is no record of this bad behavior. Send memos to your boss, including her or his direct quotes, and ask if you've understood correctly. If your boss continues to behave badly after the first two memos, start copying someone in the Human Resources Department on these memos. When your boss tells you to stop writing things down, explain that writing is the best way for you to be sure you have understood correctly, and you want to be sure you are doing the right thing. This is often enough to make a bad boss leave you alone and find another target.
5. Be Happy
Nothing irks a bad boss more than seeing other people be genuinely happy. Find good things to talk about and share them with your colleagues to help create a pleasant work atmosphere. Compliment your co-workers and other managers in your organization. Always be polite, courteous and cooperative. Smile a lot while you are working. The best revenge is seeing your boss become even more dissatisfied as you become happier.
Action #9: Get Even by Doing Your Job!
You help out whenever there's a need and do what's necessary to keep things running smoothly. You're better at your boss's job than your boss and can do his job with your eyes closed—and often do when he's not around. But lately your boss has gotten nasty with you. Instead of appreciation, you get grief—your boss snaps at you for little things, like not being available when he calls because you're talking to a customer or taking your break. Or he writes you up, saying you're not meeting your goals when circumstances beyond your control make it impossible to complete the task and he hasn't provided the necessary resources or intervention. Things are getting pretty tense. What can do you?
Your job…and nothing but your job! Your salary is based on the level of responsibility outlined in your job description. Start doing only what it says—nothing more. When your boss asks you to do parts of his job, tell him (in a written memo) that you don’t have time because doing those tasks would take time away from your job and cause you to miss your objectives. If that doesn't work, show him your job description and tell him (again, in a written memo) that you're not getting paid to do those extra tasks but you'll be glad to do them if he promotes you to a position with a higher salary based on those higher-level responsibilities. And don't accept the promise of a promotion without a written document explaining the terms and the effective date of the promised promotion; if it isn't in writing, it doesn't exist and may never happen.
In a situation like this, you have the power to influence your boss's behavior by holding back efforts that go beyond what you've been hired to do. You can't be fired for not doing your boss's job, but be aware that your boss can always make up false charges—whether or not you go above and beyond.
Your job…and nothing but your job! Your salary is based on the level of responsibility outlined in your job description. Start doing only what it says—nothing more. When your boss asks you to do parts of his job, tell him (in a written memo) that you don’t have time because doing those tasks would take time away from your job and cause you to miss your objectives. If that doesn't work, show him your job description and tell him (again, in a written memo) that you're not getting paid to do those extra tasks but you'll be glad to do them if he promotes you to a position with a higher salary based on those higher-level responsibilities. And don't accept the promise of a promotion without a written document explaining the terms and the effective date of the promised promotion; if it isn't in writing, it doesn't exist and may never happen.
In a situation like this, you have the power to influence your boss's behavior by holding back efforts that go beyond what you've been hired to do. You can't be fired for not doing your boss's job, but be aware that your boss can always make up false charges—whether or not you go above and beyond.
Action #10: Don't Get Sidetracked
When your bad boss badgers you about your performance, telling you that you're doing a bad job when you know you're doing a good job, your bad boss is likely to get tangled up in her or his web of lies. To get out of that web, your bad boss may try to sidetrack you by comparing you to other people, saying things like:
(1) "Why is it that you're the only one who seems to be having this problem with me?"
(2) "Lee doesn’t seem to have any problem doing this job, why do you?" When you hear these statements, recognize that your bad boss is trying to distract you; your bad boss knows he or she is on thin ice and doesn't have much of a case. This is your opportunity to seize control of the conversation and point to the facts.
Respond to your bad boss's statements with words to this effect:
(1) "This is between you and me. It has nothing to do with anyone else and I'm not going to talk about anyone else. I'm here to talk about what you and I can do to work better together."
(2) "This is about the work I do; it’s not about someone else's work and it's inappropriate for me to discuss someone else's work with you. I'd like to stick to the facts as they relate to me and my work."
You may need to repeat your response several times during the same conversation. After the discussion, summarize the conversation in a written memo and give a copy to your boss. Date and sign the memo and make sure it refers to the date and time of the meeting. Stick only to the facts that relate to your actual performance. Save these memos in a safe place; they become a case history that can work to your advantage later if the situation doesn't improve.
(1) "Why is it that you're the only one who seems to be having this problem with me?"
(2) "Lee doesn’t seem to have any problem doing this job, why do you?" When you hear these statements, recognize that your bad boss is trying to distract you; your bad boss knows he or she is on thin ice and doesn't have much of a case. This is your opportunity to seize control of the conversation and point to the facts.
Respond to your bad boss's statements with words to this effect:
(1) "This is between you and me. It has nothing to do with anyone else and I'm not going to talk about anyone else. I'm here to talk about what you and I can do to work better together."
(2) "This is about the work I do; it’s not about someone else's work and it's inappropriate for me to discuss someone else's work with you. I'd like to stick to the facts as they relate to me and my work."
You may need to repeat your response several times during the same conversation. After the discussion, summarize the conversation in a written memo and give a copy to your boss. Date and sign the memo and make sure it refers to the date and time of the meeting. Stick only to the facts that relate to your actual performance. Save these memos in a safe place; they become a case history that can work to your advantage later if the situation doesn't improve.
Action #11: When Your Boss Steals Your Work
You come up with a new idea, a very good idea. You know it will make a difference and you're excited to tell your boss about it. Or you do something exceptional—something that gets great results for your company. Not only are you happy about your work but you look forward to the recognition for having gone beyond your job description, for having made a larger contribution to your organization. Next thing you know, your good idea or your work has your boss's name on it. You are invisible—you don't exist. You're sick in your soul. What can you do about it?
This can be a tough situation if you didn't anticipate that it might happen, which you must always do because it happens a lot—everywhere. But if you've been caught by surprise, here's what to do.
First, collect evidence of the "genealogy" of this idea—the history, or audit trail, of how you came up with the idea and developed it into a workable asset, or how you achieved a significant accomplishment. Find all of your documentation relating to this work—including any e-mail messages, letters or memos you may have sent to anyone. Make sure they are dated. Print them and save them in chronological order. Save this collection of documentation in a secure location, but not at your work location.
Next, send your boss a memo asking how it happened that your idea has been credited to her or him. Expect a response that dances around the subject—something indirect like, "The department gets the credit, not me." Or you might get a belligerent response like, "I'm your boss, so anything you do is to my credit." Whatever your boss tells you, write it down (unless your boss sent you a written response).
Now write another memo, restating what your boss told you and asking if you understand correctly. Something like this:
"In my December 11, 2007, memo to you, I requested an explanation of why my work [use the actual name of the project] has been credited as yours. In your reply, you said that anything I do is your accomplishment by default because I report to you. Do I understand correctly that it is company policy that no recognition or rewards for exceptional work are given directly to employees who perform them—that only the employees' managers receive them? If this is the case, then please explain to me how I may earn a salary increase, a bonus or other reward, or recognition from upper management for doing excellent or exceptional work."
Now you have focused the issue on company policy. You will have more success addressing it as a policy issue than as a struggle between you and your boss. Even if you didn't initially want public recognition or rewards, this is the way to handle this problem.
Wait for a reply. Whatever response you get, write it down. If you get no response after two weeks, write that. Then send copies of all of this documentation, including your memos to your boss, to the Human Resource Manager responsible for overseeing compensation, and request the recognition that you feel your contribution is worth.
Realize that this will be the beginning of a war with your boss—and your boss has the advantage. Your boss may try to retaliate against you by falsely accusing you of errors or poor performance. Keep records of everything your boss says and does in this regard, including dates and times and names of witnesses, if there are any. You will need this documentation to defend yourself if you are inappropriately put on some sort of probation or development program that can lead to termination. This documentation can also help you get a transfer to another manager, which you may need to do if you want to continue to work for your employing organization.
In the future, whenever you have a good idea, don't just tell your boss about it. Write it in a memo and copy someone else on the memo, like your boss's boss or another manager whose department may be positively impacted by your effort. It's hard to steal an idea when someone else knows who the originator is right from the start.
This can be a tough situation if you didn't anticipate that it might happen, which you must always do because it happens a lot—everywhere. But if you've been caught by surprise, here's what to do.
First, collect evidence of the "genealogy" of this idea—the history, or audit trail, of how you came up with the idea and developed it into a workable asset, or how you achieved a significant accomplishment. Find all of your documentation relating to this work—including any e-mail messages, letters or memos you may have sent to anyone. Make sure they are dated. Print them and save them in chronological order. Save this collection of documentation in a secure location, but not at your work location.
Next, send your boss a memo asking how it happened that your idea has been credited to her or him. Expect a response that dances around the subject—something indirect like, "The department gets the credit, not me." Or you might get a belligerent response like, "I'm your boss, so anything you do is to my credit." Whatever your boss tells you, write it down (unless your boss sent you a written response).
Now write another memo, restating what your boss told you and asking if you understand correctly. Something like this:
"In my December 11, 2007, memo to you, I requested an explanation of why my work [use the actual name of the project] has been credited as yours. In your reply, you said that anything I do is your accomplishment by default because I report to you. Do I understand correctly that it is company policy that no recognition or rewards for exceptional work are given directly to employees who perform them—that only the employees' managers receive them? If this is the case, then please explain to me how I may earn a salary increase, a bonus or other reward, or recognition from upper management for doing excellent or exceptional work."
Now you have focused the issue on company policy. You will have more success addressing it as a policy issue than as a struggle between you and your boss. Even if you didn't initially want public recognition or rewards, this is the way to handle this problem.
Wait for a reply. Whatever response you get, write it down. If you get no response after two weeks, write that. Then send copies of all of this documentation, including your memos to your boss, to the Human Resource Manager responsible for overseeing compensation, and request the recognition that you feel your contribution is worth.
Realize that this will be the beginning of a war with your boss—and your boss has the advantage. Your boss may try to retaliate against you by falsely accusing you of errors or poor performance. Keep records of everything your boss says and does in this regard, including dates and times and names of witnesses, if there are any. You will need this documentation to defend yourself if you are inappropriately put on some sort of probation or development program that can lead to termination. This documentation can also help you get a transfer to another manager, which you may need to do if you want to continue to work for your employing organization.
In the future, whenever you have a good idea, don't just tell your boss about it. Write it in a memo and copy someone else on the memo, like your boss's boss or another manager whose department may be positively impacted by your effort. It's hard to steal an idea when someone else knows who the originator is right from the start.
Action Tip #12: Do Not Record Your Boss' Conversations
On the surface, recording conversations can seem like a good solution to defending yourself in a bad work situation, but it can put you at even greater risk.
Federal and State laws address recording the conversations of others. In most cases, it is either unlawful or it can result in a legal action of another kind being filed against you. Some laws require that you get the permission of all people being recorded before doing so, but your boss is unlikely to agree and you must be able to prove agreement. Also, if the boss does agree, you can be sure s/he won't misbehave while being recorded. And, you can be sure that your bad boss will find other ways to make your life miserable because you considered recording.
In addition to laws prohibiting recording the conversations of others, your employer may have an employment policy that prohibits the use of recording devices in the workplace. If so, you could be terminated for recording a conversation. Read your employer’s Employee Manual to find this information—don't ask anyone at work about it or let-on that you are considering it.
Since there are so many risks with recording, do not try it. Instead, take notes. To learn how to use take appropriate notes and use them to your advantage, read tips 2 and 3 (“How to Write a Letter of Complaint to Your Boss” and “Get It in Writing”).
Federal and State laws address recording the conversations of others. In most cases, it is either unlawful or it can result in a legal action of another kind being filed against you. Some laws require that you get the permission of all people being recorded before doing so, but your boss is unlikely to agree and you must be able to prove agreement. Also, if the boss does agree, you can be sure s/he won't misbehave while being recorded. And, you can be sure that your bad boss will find other ways to make your life miserable because you considered recording.
In addition to laws prohibiting recording the conversations of others, your employer may have an employment policy that prohibits the use of recording devices in the workplace. If so, you could be terminated for recording a conversation. Read your employer’s Employee Manual to find this information—don't ask anyone at work about it or let-on that you are considering it.
Since there are so many risks with recording, do not try it. Instead, take notes. To learn how to use take appropriate notes and use them to your advantage, read tips 2 and 3 (“How to Write a Letter of Complaint to Your Boss” and “Get It in Writing”).
More Tips
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Information on this Web site is not a substitute for legal advice. Seek the advice of an employment attorney for your circumstances.
If you are a victim of illegal discrimination, contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission—EEOC.
If you are a victim of illegal discrimination, contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission—EEOC.
Copyright © 2013 and all prior years, Marilyn Haight. All rights reserved.
